Are you feeling defeated because you’ve done all you could do to attain a job, but have yet to land one? Examine your internal dialogue. Yes, put down the resume, halt the job search, and join me in this deep-dive exercise of exploring your thoughts…
What are your beliefs about your candidacy? What “vibe” are you transmitting during your phone interview, exuding through your body language, projecting with your attire selection, and reinforcing via your resume and cover letter?
If your lack of confidence is holding you back in your job search, try to think about the following:
Others can sense your lack of self-confidence.
Lack of confidence can be “smelled” a mile away. Negativity, cynicism, and a “poor-me” attitude is not attractive at all—no matter how you try to mask it.
While it may seem too simple and bordering on just “self-help” talk, the beliefs we hold about ourselves are fundamental in our success. The concept of reversing negative internal narrative seems simple; however, actually changing what you are thinking, feeling, and exuding is not—but it can absolutely be accomplished!
We guarantee that if you have lost the job offer, perhaps even during a second interview, the person who got hired sold their qualifications with more confidence, was more persuasiveness in promoting their value, and closed the deal (job) by assertively reassuring the employer that they were the best choice!
So, what are possible reasons for your hard-to-detect negative self-talk?
The following could fuel consistent negative beliefs about your value, your opportunities, and your expectations:
1. Shame In Losing Your Job
No need to be ashamed. It happens to everyone at least once. We cannot control what happens in the world and often we cannot control events in our lives. Nevertheless, we CAN control our reaction to what happens to us and we can DECIDE to take action.
2. Internalizing Past Failures
“Success builds character, failure reveals it.” —Dave Checkett
Well, just in case: judging yourself for past failures builds a false self-image and can impact your self-confidence. Understand that failure is a part of trying and that, while owning up to your failures nurtures intellectual and emotional growth, defining yourself by your failures does not.
Understandably, if you have been out of work for a very long time, creditors are calling you, and your funds are now very limited, you can easily find yourself in a desperate-feeling place. Yet, we encourage you to adopt a new attitude.
Employers need you. So, while you are applying for jobs online, keep this in mind. Think about the value you bring as you write your resume and disruptive cover letter. You are a business-of-one. What service do you provide for an employer that makes you stand out from the competition? How will you make or save the company money?
By making this change to your mindset during your job search, you’ll come off as confident, not desperate.
This is probably the number one reason we all do a little self-berating. We experience disappointment, become frustrated and angry, and sometimes need to justify what has occurred.
Make a conscious choice to be kind to yourself, coach yourself, and pay attention to what you could be saying to yourself—because negative beliefs can make their way onto the visible aspects of your job search.
Break the habit of talking negatively about yourself, and you’ll be surprised by how quickly your confidence recovers.
Begin Today To Change The Direction Of Your Thoughts And Job Search
No matter what strategic job search plan or interview strategy you have in place, if you cannot convince your prospective employer to hire you, your self-marketing tools are pointless.
You cannot sell what you do not believe in and you cannot energize others to believe in you when YOU lack that type of enthusiasm in your own services/skills. Confidence is—and has always been—the key to job search success.
Plus, it feels good to recognize how amazing you really are!
So, begin to take notice. Write down all the reasons why you believe your job search is not fruitful, what your weaknesses are, and why you think you are NOT the best candidate, and then eradicate that thinking. Replace it with positive self-talk and substantiate it with achievements. Ironically, exploring your negative dialogue and reversing it can lead you to discover your UVP (unique value proposition). This is what will get you hired.
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This article was originally published at an earlier date.
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